I am the love and relationship guru. I have all of the answers to your relationship ponders and queries. Whatever you need to know, just ask me. Okay, that lie was fun while it lasted. The truth is: I am a twenty-six year old woman who has somehow found the joy in every pain that my fist sized heart has felt. My mantra, “experience is indeed a good teacher. Don’t be intimidated by love. Don’t lose your hope because you haven’t won right away. Keep losing until you win.”
I remember being a high school student looking for my first job. As I filled out numerous applications, I was completely discouraged at my chances of landing a job. Each potential job was interested in what experience I had; and of course I had none. “How can I ever get experience if no one will hire me because I have no experience?” I asked myself. I went on to ask that question thousands of times of anyone who would listen. To me, it simply did not make any sense.However, I soon began working at the local Kroger; now I had experience under my belt. With each new job that I have received throughout my life, the experiences of the jobs prior have made it easier to attain the desired results.
I think about love; as I often do. I think of how uneasy I was about involving myself with love. The fear that accompanied me as I would offer a simple hello was just ridiculous. I realize now that it was purely stemmed from my inexperience. As I slowly crept into the confinements of what I considered to be love, I found myself going through the highs and lows that love had to offer; pointless arguments, great makeups, fun dates, okay dates, boring dates, church hugs, long hugs, first kisses, last kisses… the list goes on. I’ve found myself in territorial, mud-slinging brawls with those wanting who or what I had or I thought I had. In the zone of love, I have listened to my fair share of lies and taken my fair share of stupidity and degradation.
What have I gained? I have gained unfiltered experience. I find refuge in the fact that I have experienced all of the wrong relationships so that now I can recognize a wrong relationship the moment it begins as well as appreciate the best relationship that is built on my core principles: faith, family, and grind.
It’s just like when I finally landed my first job. With each new job, I took away something that would prepare me for my next job. With each relationship, I took away new lessons that taught me more about love and more importantly; myself. Ironically, it has been all of these lessons that have prepared me for my purpose in life, to express my journey so that others can relate it to theirs. Being healed of pain is a blessing that has equipped me to share the hope of love to those who diligently await it.
Hmmm… maybe I am the love and relationship guru. If I am though, I definitely give all of the credit to my good friend, experience.
I am love’s slave bound by optimism and beaten vigorously by unwavering hope in the old cliché that love conquers all.